Letter to my Wild Heart - Ritual for Self-Love

Watching my 18-month-old niece learn new things has been an incredibly joyful experience for our entire family. Each day brings new milestones, just recently, I had the delightful opportunity to observe her as she stood in front of a mirror, admiring herself. In that moment, she looked at herself with such wonder and innocence, and I heard her softly utter the words "I do" which in her baby language, I understand, convey a profound sentiment—essentially meaning "I love you." This innocent declaration prompted a deeper reflection on the concept of self-love and self-acceptance. As I watched her, I couldn't help but marvel at how effortlessly she expresses affection towards herself, a quality that many adults often struggle with throughout their lives.

Understanding self-love and self-acceptance

So why do adults often grapple with self-love and self-acceptance?

• Societal Pressures: unrealistic expectations from society regarding success, appearance, and behavior, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

• Patriarchal Systems: condition adults to shrink themselves into something digestible for others.

• Past Experiences: such as criticism or trauma, can leave lasting impacts on self-esteem and self-worth.

• Comparison to Others: especially in the age of social media, can foster feelings of jealousy and self-doubt.

• Perfectionism: can create an unachievable standard, making it hard to accept oneself as they are.

• Negative Self-Talk: can erode self-esteem and make self-love feel unattainable.

The Self-Love Ritual

And with this thought I created the theme of my next emotional healing book club session. And what better time to do it with the astrological transit of Venus, the planet of love, beauty and values going through its home sign of earthy, loyal and practical Taurus. Venus in Taurus encourages nurturing self-care routines, appreciating the finer things and building a strong sense of self-worth through attending to one's needs and desires. It's the perfect vibe for a grounding emotional healing session. I designed the space with creamy ivory blankets whispering you're safe to soften here, terracotta and mustard cushions to ground in Taurus' earthy embrace and some luxe gold accents to mirror everyone's inherent worth.

I asked everyone to dress up, like it was a self-date ritual, this simple experience literally embodies worthiness. It served as a reminder that they're the prize and they all ought to be celebrated.

Following a brief grounding meditation, I invited everyone to write a letter to themselves, expressing what their inner self might need to hear and offering self-appreciation. Each one of us then took turns to read out what we were open to share from that letter with the rest of the group. This simple yet transformational self-love ritual set the tone for the rest of the session. It made everyone feel deeply rooted in their worth - like their self-love wasn't just words, but, something tactile and enduring. The letters they wrote turned into soul-seedlings they planted that day. That space gave them the safety to touch the truths that they usually kept buried. It was like a sacred container where their self-love need not be performative and they were free to take up the space. The group energy made vulnerability feel like communion. The heartfelt exchanges likely made everyone feel their embodied worth seen, the part that only craves tenderness and no grand gestures. That grounded circle felt like a whispered revolution and a mirror of mutual recognition!

Connection to the book

Cheryl's raw trek through the wilderness mirrors this session's ethos about finding self-love through the body's grit and grace. She trusted her feet to carry her home to herself even when the path was difficult. And on this journey she accepted parts of herself that she had buried under shame, guilt and societal expectations.

Conclusion

To conclude as I look back at my niece, in her world, there are no judgments or comparisons; she simply sees herself and acknowledges her existence with joy and positivity. This is a stark contrast to the complexities that come with adulthood, where self-criticism and doubt frequently overshadow our ability to appreciate ourselves. As adults, we can learn so much from the unfiltered, pure perspective of a child, and perhaps, in doing so, we can reclaim that lost sense of self-love that is so vital for our happiness.

I like to always conclude with a limiting belief from the past that I'm ready to now release and an affirmation for the future that I'm ready to now embrace. What would you like to release and affirm?

I release the need to negotiate my worth for others.

I affirm that self-love isn't earned, it is my birthright.

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Snippet of the letter I wrote to myself

Dear Me,

You are my favorite person. I love your perseverance, your love for life even when it gets tough, your courage, your determination, your kindness and your love for everyone and everything. Continue to shine the way you do! I love you!